tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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