Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
