I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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