Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
