well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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