god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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