Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
