She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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