But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
