we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
