Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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