5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
