my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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