is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
