So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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