Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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