Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
