I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
