never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
