I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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