ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
