So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Who died my cat blue again?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
