So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
