I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
