I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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