i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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