Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
