you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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