when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
