Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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