"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
