You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You're like the curious george of whores
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
