Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm too high and old for this...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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