Tell her she can't have a vagina
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
