At least make sure they are 18
Why
Can Purell be used as lube?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
