My first STD was from a foam party
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
