I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
