I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
