this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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