So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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