Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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