im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
