Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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