i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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