Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
