Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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