Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
