he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
