She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
