note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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